Islaam is a complete way of life. Not only does it teach us the correct way of worship, it also teaches us the correct way of living.
One of the biggest favours of Almighty Allaah is that not only He gave us certain rules to live by, but HE also explained them in great detail, sometimes in Quraan and sometimes through the Blessed life of His Messenger (may peace be upon Him). Bringing up children is no exception. We have got such clear rules to follow that if practiced upon, everyone can succeed in the difficult and sensitive responsibilty of rearing pious children.
Hence everyone embarking upon the journey of bringing up children should know and practice upon the basic rules and guidance provided by Islaam.
Most of the times we take parenting for a normal part of life, coming to us automatically and instinctively. While many of the elements of parenting do come naturally to us, alot has to be learned, and who can be a better teacher than our beloved Prophet peace be upon him. In this blog, we will try to take one parenting problem/responsibility at a time and explain the solution/duties in the light of shariah as given to us by Almight Allaah and explained by our beloved Nabi peace be upon him, inshAllah.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Baby’s 7th Day (part II)

Aqiqa

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Aqiqa’s literal meaning is to cut. In sharia, Aqiqa means to cut goats or sheep for the baby.

There are many ahadeeth mentioned in the authentic books of ahadeeth about Aqiqa. Some of them are:

Imam Bukhari writes in his “Saheeh” that

Narrated Salman bin 'Amir Ad-Dabbi:

I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "'Aqiqa is to be offered for a (newly born) boy, so slaughter (an animal) for him, and relieve him of his suffering." (Note: It has been quoted in Fateh-AL-Bari that the majority of the Religious Scholars agrees to the Hadith narrated in Sahih At-TlRMlZY that the Prophet was asked about Aqiqa and he ordered 2 sheep for a boy and one sheep for a girl and that is his tradition "SUNNA".)

Mentioned in Ibn Majah that

Samura (Allah be pleased with him) reported the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) to have said, "Every (recently born) child is pledged with 'Aqiqa. Slaughter the animal on his behalf on the seventh day (after his birth), shave his head and keep his name."

and

A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) is reported to have said, "Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded us to slaughter two goats for a boy and one goat for a girl."

Wajib, Sunna or Mustahab?

There are three opinions on this. Imam Abu Hanifah and his followers do not regard this as Sunna Moukida (emphasized Sunna) but as Mustahab (desirable). Imam Malik, Imam Shafie and their followers, Imam Ahmad and Ishaaq are of the opinion that Aqiqa is not waajib but an act of Sunna and Mustahab (desirable).  and Imam Hasan Basri and Laith bin Saad hold it as a waajib (compulsory) act.

When to perform Aqiqa?

From the ahadeeth mentioned above it is known to perform Aqiqa on the seventh day after a baby is born. But there are other narrations that show that performing Aqiqa on the seventh day is Mustahab and if someone for any reason can not perform it on the seventh day  then they can perform it on any other day. (Many people especially in Indo Pak delay the Aqiqa for years. This practice is not right)

Difference between Aqiqia of a boy and a girl

There is a difference of opinion on how many animals to be slaughtered for a boy and a girl but everyone agrees that aqiqa is for both boys and girls.

Imam Malik’s opinion is that for both boy and girl there is only one goat/sheep to be slaughtered as when he was asked about Aqiqa,

Malik said, "What we do about the aqiqa is that if someone makes an aqiqa for his children, he gives a sheep for both male and female. The aqiqa is not obligatory but it is desirable to do it, and people continue to come to us about it. If someone makes an aqiqa for his children, the same rules apply as with all sacrificial animals - one-eyed, emaciated, injured, or sick animals must not be used, and neither the meat or the skin is to be sold. The bones are broken and the family eat the meat and give some of it away as sadaqa. The child is not smeared with any of the blood .''

Rest of the Ulama agree that two goats/sheep's are to be slaughtered for a baby boy and one for a baby girl. They derive their opinion from ahadeeth like the following mentioned in Ibn Majah

Umm Kurz (Allah be pleased with her) is reported to have said: I heard the Holy Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) saying, "For a boy are two goats of equal age and on behalf of a girl, there is one goat (as a sadaqa)."

and

A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) is reported to have said, "Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) commanded us to slaughter two goats for a boy and one goat for a girl."

So to summarize Sheikh Abdullah Alwaan writes in his “Tarbiyat ul awlaad fil Islaam” that it is desirable to slaughter two goats/sheep for a boy if the father can afford. If he can not afford to slaughter two on behalf of a baby boy then slaughtering one will also give him the benefits of practicing upon Sunna.  Wallahu  Aalam.

Many people may ask why there is a difference between a boy and a girl when it comes to Aqiqa but it is not for us to question about what is commanded by Allaah and His Messenger (saw) as Allaah says in Sura Al Nisa verse 65:

But nay, by thy lord, they will not believe (in truth) until they make thee judge of what is in dispute between them and find within themselves no dislike of that which thou decidest, and submit with full submission.

and may be it is to show that Allaah has given men authority over women as mentioned in Quraan Sura Al Nisa verse 34:

Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women).

Some rulings pertaining to Aqiqa

1. Same rules apply for animals of Aqiqa as for other animals of sacrifice for example sick ,injured animals can't be used, baby animals can’t be used etc.

2. Animals that can be used to slaughter for Aqiqa are goat/sheep/ram. some Ulama are of the opinion that cow and camel are not allowed, but others say they are allowed.

3. According to Hanafia (followers of Imam Abu Hanifah) there can be sharing in animal of aqiqa, for example one cow for the Aqiqa of seven girls is permissible or one cow for one part Aqiaq and six parts for the sacrifice of Eid ul Adhaa etc. according to Shafiees and others there can be no sharing in the animal of Aqiqa, for example 7 people can not share in one cow etc.

4. The rulings for the meat of other animals of sacrifice apply on the meat of Aqiqa animal that is it can be consumed by family, given to neighbours and relatives, given as charity but can not be sold etc.

5. It is desirable if at the time of slaughtering the name of the child for whom the Aqiqa is being done is taken, like O Allaah I slaughter this animal with your name and to gain your pleasure and O Allaah this is for (name of child )’s aqiqa. But if the name of the child was not mentioned still the Aqiqa is right and no need to repeat.

For more rulings of aqiqa consult any book of Fiqh.

Advantages of Aqiqa

There are many advantages which can be understood even by our weak understanding. For example:

As soon as the child is born a slaughter is done on his behalf to increase his bond with Allaah.

To protect the child from the calamities etc, its a kind of offering like a ram was slaughtered in fidyaa of Ismail (as) from Allaah.

It will be a source of Shifaa’a for the parents.

To celebrate the arrival of another Muslim in the world.

To increase the bonds of love and happiness between the ummah.etc!

May Allaah (swt) grant us the true understanding and the will to practce aameen.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Baby’s 7th day (part I)

Shaving Hairs

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When the baby is 7 days old, it is Mustahab to shave his/her head and silver equivalent to the weight of the hairs (or amount equivalent to it) should be given to poor.

Imam Malik writes in his “Mowattaa” that Jaafar bin Muhammad narrates from his father that Fatimah (radi Allaahu Anhaa) had weighed the hairs of Hasan, Hussain, Zainab and Umm Kulthoom (radi Allaahu Anhum) and gave its equivalent amount of silver in sadaqah.

There are many health benefits as well as social benefits in this practice. Ibn Qayyim writes in his book “Tauhfatul Maulood” about the health benefits that it strengthens the child and also benefits his/her senses of sight, hearing and smell.

Sheikh Abdullah Alwaan writes in his book “Tarbiyat-ul-Aulaad fil Islaam” about the social benefits of this practice. He says that giving the silver (or its equivalent amount) in charity will fulfill the needs of the needy hence giving rise to a feeling of love and bonding amongst the Ummaah.

A point to be understood her is that it is not permissible to shave off a part of head and leave hairs on some part. For example shaving the centre of the head and leaving hairs around or shaving half of the head and leaving half with hairs. This practice is called Qaza’a and it is prohibited in Islaam. For more information on this refer to “Tarbiyatul Aulaad fil Islaam” by Sheikh Abdullah Alwaan.

Some suggestions on shaving Baby’s head
  • Clean your baby's head/hair normally as you do everyday.
  • You can use a manual razor blade or an electric shaver, also called an electric head clipper. Use it without the plastic guard to cut the hair as short as possible.
  • Make sure the room is warm.Its better to take off baby’s regular clothing and wrap him/her in an old but clean cloth so the hair doesn't stay in the garments and causes itching.
  • Shave from the hair line to the back, in small sections.
  • Make sure the shaver is well oiled to avoid hair getting stuck causing the clipper to "chew" your baby's hair.
  • Give your baby a bath after shaving him to sooth him and clean any hair that reached his body.
  • Monday, May 3, 2010

    When A Child Is Born.… (part III)

    Tahnik

    Tahnik is an often forgotten and neglected Sunnah. Tahnik means to chew a date, take a tiny amount of the pulp and put it in the newborn child’s mouth. If date is not available then any other sweet thing can be used in its place though using date is preferred. Tahnik should better be performed by a pious person.

    It is narrated in Saheeh Bukhaari and Saheeh Muslim:

    Narrated Abu Musa:

    “A son was born to me and I took him to the Prophet who named him Ibrahim, did Tahnik for him with a date, invoked Allah to bless him and returned him to me. (The narrator added: That was Abu Musa's eldest son.)”

    There are lots of benefits in Tahnik. First and foremost is that it is a source of blessing being a Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Secondly this Sunnah is a very neglected one in today's day, so anyone refreshing this sunnah will get even more reward, as stated by Prophet Muhammad (SAW). Third the child will get the barakah of having the first thing entering his/her mouth being a date (which was often eaten by Prophet Muhammad (SAW)) and the barakah of it being done by a pious person.

    Some people also state the benefits of date for a newborn in terms of health, to which many people agree and many disagree. But being Muslims, for us this practice should be important even if there are no known health benefits as it incurs the blessings of practicing upon Sunnaah.

    Thursday, December 3, 2009

    When A Child Is Born .... (part II)

    Adhaan and Iqaamah in child's ear

    Islaam teaches us to utter Adhaan (Muslim’s call to prayer) and Iqaamah (call to stand for prayers) in an infant’s ears. This should be done immediately after the birth. It is narrated in Abu Dawood from AbuRafi' that he says:
    “I saw the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) uttering the call to prayer (Adhaan) in the ear of al-Hasan ibn Ali when Fatimah gave birth to him.”
    And Abdullah bin Abbas (raa) narrates that when Hasan ibn Ali (raa) was born, Rasoolullah (saw) uttered Adhaan in his right ear and Iqaamah in his left ear.
    blog-pa Ibn qayyim writes in his book “tauhfat-ul-maulood” that the wisdom behind uttering Adhaan and Iqaamah in an infant’s ears is that the first thing heard by a child be the auspicious words declaring Allaah’s (swt) greatness, and may he/she first hear those words which are the means of entering the fold of Islaam. This way he/she is invited towards Islaam, like a dying person is told to recite shahaadah at the time of demise to declare his/her Imaan yet again.. And though the human infant is unable to understand the words or the invitation behind those words, but these words have an effect nonetheless.
    Another benefit of Adhaan and Iqaamah is that Satan runs away from the vicinity of the infant. Ever since before the birth, Satan is planning to contaminate the pure heart of the infant, but when he hears the words which weakens him, he leaves the infant alone.
    Ibn Qayyim has written in great detail about the wisdom behind the utterance of Adhaan and Iqamaah in an infant’s ears. In short, when the child comes in the world and is starting his life, this utterance is an invitations towards Rahmaan, before the invitation towards Shaytaan (Satan) comes so he/she may live his life in this mortal world being a true servant of Allaah.
    May Allaah (swt) grant us all the understanding aamin.

    Thursday, November 12, 2009

    When a Child is Born …. (part I)

    Felicitations to the Parents
    When a child is born it is mutahab (desirable) for the Muslims to congratulate the parents in such a way as to make their happiness even greater. This will increase the love between the Muslims and create a strong social bond inshAllah. If for some reason one can not congratulate then they should at least pray for the newborn as the prayer of one Muslim in the favour of another Muslim is accepted by Almighty Allaah.
    To guide the Muslim ummah towards this important social etiquette, Allaah Subhanahu wa Taala has mentioned it in the Holy Quraan:
    “And, of course, Our messengers have had come to Abraham with good tidings; they said, ‘salam.’ He said, ‘salam’, then soon brought a roasted calf. Then when he saw their hands not coming to the food he was stricken with apprehension and feared them in his heart. They said, ‘fear not, we have come being sent to the people of Lot.’ And his wife was standing, then she laughed and We gave her the glad tidings of Isaac, and after Isaac of Jacob.”
    (sura Hood 69-71)
    “The angels then called to him, when he stood at salat in the hut, ‘Allaah gives you the good tidings of Yahya (John)”
    (sura Aal-imraan 39)
    “O Zakariyaa, We tell thee the good tidings of a child whose name is Yahya, We have not made anyone of his name before.”
    (sura Maryam 7)
    The Correct way of congratulating
    Ibn ul Qayyim writes in his book “Tauhfat-ul-maulood”, narrating from Abu bakr bin Almunzar that he said, “We were told about Hasan Basri that once a man came to him while another man, who had recently became father of a child, was sitting with him. When he (newcomer) saw him (the father) he congratulated him thus: ‘felicitations on the rider!’ when Hasan Basri heard it, he said ‘how do you know is it a rider or a donkey?’ so the man asked what should he say, he (hasan basri) replied ‘say, may Allaah bless you in the child He has given to you, and may Allaah grant you the ability to thank Him and may he (the child) be a pious man/woman and may he get long healthy life.
    Felicitations should be given for all babies, regardless of gender. Regarding the birth of a baby girl as a lesser degree of bounty is sinful. This way the love and sympathy among the Muslim ummah would flourish inshAllah.
    Please note that while giving a gift on the birth of a baby is not wrong in itself, but to make it a custom, doing Israaf (extra vagency) or imitating Kuffaar is prohibited.
    (content taken from “Tarbiyet-e-aulaad fil islaam” by sheikh Abdullah Naseh Alwaan)